Have you ever had the experience of praying and feeling that your prayer is not getting past the ceiling? I have. There are times that I feel that my prayers are just not going anywhere. It’s that sensation of shooting an arrow or dart and having it bounce off the target. Those prayer times just feel flat. While I know that the Lord is always available to us, at those times I have felt unheard.

Once a week I meet with two other women to study and discuss scriptures. This last week’s discussion focused on prayer. We spent quite a bit of time talking about our prayer journeys and those times when we’ve felt our prayers fell flat. Like every other aspect of the gospel in our lives, we found that our journey in prayer was one of growth (line upon line) and that gradually our understanding grew about this wonderful conduit of communication with our Heavenly Father. Our discussion led to some insights into prayer that may help you if you are experiencing, as we all do at times, your prayers hitting the ceiling.

What sparked the discussion was the Book of Enos in which Enos speaks of his struggle with prayer. Enos went out to hunt but as he made his way in the woods his father’s words about Jesus Christ sunk deep in his heart. Enos had an overpowering desire to know the Lord. He stopped, knelt down, and began pouring his heart out to the Lord. As he did, he received an answer from the Lord that his sins were forgiven through the atonement of Christ. He experienced what the prophet Jeremiah learned from the Lord: “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:13)

This is the first key. Like Enos, I have found that how I approach the Lord in prayer makes the difference in accessing or not accessing his Spirit. Enos’s father was a prophet, so Enos was raised and taught to pray. However, this was the first time Enos approached the Lord with such single-minded intent. We know this because he describes how he cried to the Lord all day and into the night.

Enos demonstrated how important it is to prepare yourself mentally and spiritually before petitioning the Lord. I have learned that as long as I am approaching him with all my heart, the Lord will be there for me, ready to hear and answer my prayers. Half-hearted prayers rarely invite the Spirit or receive answers.

The second key is being humble. During his prayer, Enos acknowledged his sins, transgressions and weaknesses. The two other women and I are converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One converted as a teenager, the other woman and I converted when adults. We all have lived worldly focused lives before our conversions and like Enos had things we needed to give up. There are few people that become followers of Christ that do not have something to let go of: a bad habit or addiction, a way of behaving hurtfully to others, a self-focus, distrust of authority, friends that live destructive or negative lives, or the desire for more material things. It can be hard to acknowledge these sins and weaknesses to the Lord, but he requires a humble heart, a broken heart that he may guide us. This is a daily process, not a one time and done event. Each of us agreed that when we are able to humble ourselves, we feel his presence more readily.

“Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” (D&C 112:10)

The third key is gratitude. At this point in his prayer, Enos received the Lord’s assurance that his sins had been forgiven because of his faith in Christ and his atonement. While it is not specifically stated, I believe that Enos expressed his gratitude to the Lord and acknowledged that he knew “that God could not lie.” (Enos 1:6) The joy at having his “guilt swept away” must have been overwhelming. In his joy and gratitude, Enos continued to pray but his prayer changed. Rather than focusing on himself, he now prayed for his people that they could have this same blessing. The Lord again answered him, but not in the way that Enos hoped; for some of the answer was in line with what Enos requested and some of the answer was not. The Lord responded that he would bless Enos’s people if they were diligent in keeping his commandments. But, if they did not keep the commandments, the Lord would not bless them. It was as his father Jacob taught:

“Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.” (Jacob 4:10)

The fourth key is to be attuned to the Spirit. If you are attuned to the Spirit, your prayers will be in keeping with the Lord’s will. One of the women in our group shared how she kept praying for very specific blessings. She poured out her heart about why these blessings were so important to her. For many days and weeks, she continued but did not receive any answer. Her prayers were ‘hitting the ceiling.’

The Lord does instruct us to pray to him for what we need. The most quoted scripture about it is:

“Ask, and it shall be given you, seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matt. 7:7-8)

There are additional scriptures, though, that clarify how the Lord views our prayers:

“And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.” (3 Nephi 18:20)

“Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” (James 5:16)

“Remember that without faith you can do nothing; therefore ask in faith. Trifle not with these things; do not ask for that which you ought not.” (D&C 8:10)

(Italics and bold added by author for emphasis.)

My friend realized that what she was doing was not working. She did not feel the Spirit, was not getting answers and was getting discouraged. After much thought and study, she determined to change the way she prayed. Rather than asking for very specific things that she wanted, like having a burden removed or a challenge taken away. She started listening for the still small voice which soon inspired her to pray instead that she would have the ability to bear it. The peace and comfort that came to her was exactly what she needed at that time. She came to understand that trials and challenges are part of life, that often they are necessary to our growth. And the blessings at the other end of that challenge are often poured out in greater proportion than the trials.

The fifth key is faith. As the previous scriptures note (see italicized words) and Enos’s account also includes, we must believe and trust in the Lord. My favorite scripture is Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths.”  If we trust the Lord, and are praying with the guidance of the Spirit, then we can have faith that he will answer our prayers in a way that will most bless us.

Returning to Enos’s account, he then went on to pray for his enemies. He prayed that they might have the opportunity to know the gospel and Jesus Christ. The Lord does instruct us to “…pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44)

I have not listed this as a sixth key because for most of us mortals, the idea of praying for those who have intentionally hurt us is anathema to us. Yet the Savior was very clear about our enemies: we are to pray for them. This requires a level of humility, spiritual maturity and attunement to the Spirit that is admirable. As we progress in our prayer journey, we will reach this level – it is absolutely attainable. Based on Enos’s account, I believe it opens the door to a level of communication with our Heavenly Father that we need to strive to obtain.

If your prayers are ‘hitting the ceiling’ and you want to have more spirit filled and meaningful communication with your Heavenly Father, please remember the five keys in Enos’s example:

• Approach the Lord in prayer with all your heart. Be focused and earnest in your intent.
• Be humble and open to the Lord.
• Express your gratitude to the Lord for all that he has provided, promised and communicates to you.
• Rely on the guidance of the Spirit in the content of your petitions. Be attuned and do not counsel the Lord.
• Exercise faith in the Lord and his love for you.

My prayer for you is that you will feel both Heavenly Father’s and Jesus Christ’s great love for you.

As you experience their love for you, I pray you will be filled with a desire to pray for others, including your enemies.

I leave you with two scriptures:

“Pray without ceasing.” (Thes. 5:17)

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:37)

Wishing you peace in Christ,

Audrey